Dosed

2:10 I’m dosed.
The antidepressants are doing their best as if some sick joke to win my heart.
The light from the screen is the only light I see.
Shadows lurking among shadows
Distorted noises are creeping from every crack.

2:13 I’ve got to thinking
What if California just started sinking into the seas?
What would become of the fabled Hollywood wonders?
What would become of the lives people planned to have?
What would become of “my future collage education”?

2:15 more questions arise.
Such as when does the change from being a nobody,
to being a Hollywood superstar begin?
How will the money change me? Will it change me at all?
Will there even be money?

2:18 I’m starting to question things a little more serious.
Has my dad been cheating on my mom?
Why, with who, and if so what will happen?

2:19 the pills are working full blast.
My vision is blurry; the keys feel like they’re hardly there.
The noises from before are more than just creeks from the house.
They are now a part of me.
I can seen the things that make the noise and they aren’t pretty

2:22 Things are hazy.
Things hardly making any sense.
Not as if it had ever made sense before the dosing.
These words now no more than just sentences.
Now gone from an attempt to make literature to a drugged ranting gone bad
They may be meant for killing off depression but they’re only killing me.

2:24 Things are getting really odd. I’m remembering writing things that I never wrote.
Thinking I’ve typed things I never typed.
Even if I had, it wouldn’t have made sense.
There is no possible way for these things to ever have worked out in any part of this.

2:26 Random words coming to my mind such as “rant” and “wall” or “marionette”
What is it now? I hear a noise from behind knowing that it’s not possible.


2:28 I feel a cold sensation on the back of my neck. I ignore it and it goes away.
I feel it again for the second time. I ignore it and it goes away.
The third time it is back. I ignore it for the third time but it does not go away. I turn around…

2:29… Lights out.